What Hirayama Taught Me About Getting Through the Day

Wake up.

Tend to plants.

Brush teeth.

Have coffee.

Commute with (good) music.

Work with focus.

Bathe.

Dine.

Return home.

Read.

Fall asleep.

This is what I remember from Hirayama’s ritual in Perfect Days. It is a simple daily ritual. And it doesn’t always happen in exactly the same way for Hirayama. Sometimes the steps change; some are omitted. He makes room for other people, helps out his co-workers and fellow citizens and visitors, and shows a general appreciation for each daily moment.

Sometimes, though, Hirayama spirals. He experiences high stress levels and sleeps poorly, then drinks (more coffee and, on really bad days, alcohol). Sometimes he’s low on money and cannot afford his daily ritual of dining out. During those times, he eats ramen. Regardless, every day Hirayama wakes up, he goes outside, looks at the sky, and smiles. He sees every day anew, despite what has just passed. I aspire to maintain a daily ritual more like Hirayama’s.

Anyone who has spent more than a day with me will know I tend to maintain rigid rituals, habits, and schedules. I keep fairly strict rituals for winding down my day, writing, and exercise. But, I am working to feel less attached to those rituals. When something goes awry, as it often does, I want to feel more flexible with my approach to handling change.

The importance of flexibility is one of the lessons I learned from Hirayama. There are two other salient themes I picked up from Hirayama’s daily ritual.

The first is to come to each day with a sense of attentive lightness, even if others are unkind. Hirayama cleans public toilets. Although it is not a traditionally dignified job, it is an important one and one we should all appreciate. Unfortunately, not everyone does. In one of the first scenes, Hirayama hears a toddler crying in the restroom. He walks to the restroom and checks on the boy, takes him by the hand, and helps him find his mother. When the mother sees the boy, she yells at him, takes a look at Hirayama, notices he is dressed as a janitor, and cleans her son’s hand with wipes. She never acknowledges nor thanks Hirayama for helping her find her child. They walk off.

After watching this, I felt disappointed with the mother’s response. I also felt sad for Hirayama because the mother never said a word to him. The family walked off in the opposite direction while Hirayama watched. But, after a few steps, the little boy turned around and waved at Hirayama who smiled and waved back. I like to think of boy’s wave as a sign of silent gratitude.

The second lesson is to find the beauty of each day. Try to acknowledge the people around you. When Hirayama encounters others, he nods (mokurei, I think) to them. He speaks to others dining in the park with him, even if they fail to acknowledge him. Importantly, he also greets those who are poorly dressed and seemingly unhoused. The comedian, Luenell, emphasizes speaking to others around us is basic decency. She says “if you enter into a closed space…it is your job as a (expletive) human being to at least acknowledge the presence of the (expletive) (person) you’re sitting next to.” In most circumstances, we should try to acknowledge each other and pay attention to our environments.

One of my favorite demonstrations of attentiveness in Perfect Days is Hirayama’s documentation of trees. He takes photos of the trees with an analog camera. He dates the photos and carefully archives them in dated boxes. This is much like keeping a photo journal, analogous to my written journaling process. It is much simpler to take photos using a smartphone or digital camera. Hirayama chooses analog. I like to think analog helps keep us attentive and grounded, rooted in the real, physical world.

In practice, I want my rituals to center on paying attention. I plan to focus on building flexibility into my rituals and into my life as a whole. Yes, I typically journal each day, but maybe the habit behind that daily ritual is reflection. That need not live in a written journal. We can reflect out loud, by speaking with friends, or silently, during an easy run or workout. This is just one example of many. While maintaining rituals does help me go through my days with certainty, I plan to prioritize intentions (reflection) over rigid actions (daily journal). My life, at least as it currently stands, is too dynamic to cling to static, daily practices. The rituals I keep are guides, not rules.

Notes

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Take care. Talk soon.